Xenosaga Episode I: Ich mag Enten
by Oh Em Gawd
Summary: Crack!Episode I. Jr.'s POV. Rated T for language. Warning: Random use of sarcasm and other things. Like ducks. Complete !
1. Ambuhed

Xenosaga: I Like Ducks

Author's Note: I'm telling you now, I didn't think of this title. I was like, "Hey, I wanna do a story about Xenosaga, but I don't know what point of view I want it to be." So my friend Liz is all, "I like Jr.! And ducks!" So that's how the subtitle was created. Since I am so like, unknown and stuff, I am the person who made "Awakening". crickets chirping Yes, I know you don't know what the hell I'm talking about. It's in Final Fantasy VII. Please, if you could, leave a review and just tell me what's wrong with me. Because apparently something is wrong. I don't know what exactly, but I assume something is. Okay, I'm talking too much, so let me just go on with the story, since this is what you came here for.

Summary: Xenosaga Episode I through Jr./Rubedo's eyes. Known to be all cracked out and shit. And yes, warning for language in case you haven't noticed. Probably some for sarcasm, too.

Disclaimer: I don't own Xenosaga, okay? Namco does. If I did, then Wilhelm wouldn't need the Compass of Order and Chaos. He'd be already all psychic and shit. And he would totally go fuck chaos everyday. Because I am a yaoi fangirl and proud of it. But this isn't about chaos or Wilhelm; it's about Jr. So let's just go on with this. And oh, this story has absolutely nothing to do with ducks. I thought I would just save you the trouble.

* * *

"And the wind howled horribly around her…"

"Little Master, you should really stop reading books! They're so ancient!" Mary giggled in her little hick voice, and smiled. "Can't you see that data is way more modern and convenient?"

"Books are the shit! You should read more of them, Mary! They're good for you."

"When I need to, I'll download them."

Jr. was in his A.G.W.S., scanning for what he was looking for; the remains of the Woglinde. "Find anything yet, Mary?"

"Uh, that's a no, Little Master!" She laughed, and exited the Durandal in her A.G.W.S. "But, we can look some more!"

They looked and searched until Jr. found something on his scanner. "Hey, I think I found something. Hey, this isn't nothing." He saw the Woglinde, and proceeded. When he got inside, it seemed as if someone had been waiting for him; a group of Auto-Techs.

"Goddamn Auto-Techs! Mary, retreat to the Durandal. I've got them."

"You sure, Little Master?"

"Yeah, I'm positive. Now go!"

Mary retreated back to the Durandal, leaving Jr. to fend for himself. He was completely surrounded by Auto-Techs. He shot them all down, with his beam guns. In an attempt to be comical, he posed and taunted them. But they assailed him, and he had to do a counter-attack to save him before his A.G.W.S. ran out of FHP. As soon as they were all destroyed, he escaped slightly before U-TIC came and blew up the Woglinde.

"Ah, so they're trying to get rid of the evidence, eh?" He flew up to the Durandal, and ran up to the bridge from the hangar. "Status, Shelley!"

"It would seem as if the mothership is destroying the evidence, as if cleaning up from its child." She always spoke in a monotonous tone, and was always so serious.

"Alright, let's go get 'em! And while we're there, you should probably relax or something."

"…I like ducks, if that means anything." Shelley blushed as she revealed her new found like. "They go quack, like Mary."

"Hey, that's not funny!" Mary frowned and stuck her tongue out at her. "I'm going with you, Little Master. Since someone _apparently_ thinks I'm a duck or something."

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that." Shelley sighed, and looked over at Little Master. "The enemy is retreating. What shall we do?"

"Let's give them a little nudge." The ship used its tip to ram into the side of the ship, creating an entrance. "C'mon, let's go show 'em what happens when they mess with us!"

* * *

I'm sorry, I wasn't really planning to mention ducks in the story. But Liz was all, "You should go mention ducks." and I'm like, "No, 'cause it doesn't even fit in Xenosaga! Do they even have ducks in the future?" and she's like, "Apparently they do now!" So now the future 2,000 some years in the future in 4016 or whenever this game takes place, there are still ducks. It's a miracle or something. Whoo! And also, I found out what the subtitles of each game is. I'll mention them in the next chapter, whenever that is.

But you know what, I really wouldn't mind if you just clicked that button and reviewed so I know how this is! I mean, I see every one else getting reviews and then I'm just getting dissed out with none. I feel all alone and stuff. I'm gonna go hang out in my little emo corner again, because no one will probably review. Yes, I am very pessimistic. Please, help me out here with some reviews so I won't lose my writing inspiration and then end up writing something short like the third chapter of Awakeneing. Okay, love ya!

Mango


	2. UTIC Battleship

Xenosaga Episode I: I Like Ducks

Author's Note: I did mention ducks. I'm sorry. You probably didn't want me to, but I did. I'm writing this with random thoughts on my mind, so there's no telling what I'll say. I am being completely random as I write this story, and I'm not really sure whether I'm going to have MOMO/Jr. implied, or what. Oh, and I told you all I was going to say what the subtitles of Xenosaga meant, because… some people understand German, mmkay? Okay.

Xenosaga Episode I: The will to power  
Xenosaga Episode II: Beyond of property and bad  
Xenosaga Episode III: Thus Zarathustra spoke

Well, there you go. I used Google Translator to decipher the German-ness. And I found out that it was German through either YouTube or the official site. I can't quite remember. But oh well. At least now you know what it means, for those who didn't know.

Summary: Xenosaga Episode I through Jr.'s point of view. Warning for language and randomness.

Disclaimer: I don't own Xenosaga. Namco does. I didn't include any original characters. And if I did, THEN something would be mine. But since I didn't, I don't own jack. Have fun reading.

* * *

"Little Master! Warn us when you're ready to enter!" Mary yelled, as she walked over to Jr. She worried way too much.

"Alright, I will!" Wow, she complains too much about everything. I guess I should bring her along, before she totally annoys me. U-TIC apparently doesn't know who they're messing with. "Mary, c'mon!"

…Oh shit, they have _laser technology._ It's so totally weird, people! You would have thought we rammed into it or something. We were close enough. But apparently not. Well, what do you know? There goes the generator. BOOM! And it's totally gone. The laser detection is gone! It's a miracle!

Hmm, there's a door. Too bad it's locked. It looks all cool with it's giant 4 on it. And the other door to my left; it's locked too. So I guess I'm going to the right, apparently. Aww, look at the guards… Haha! These guards suck! I can just all run up in this joint! And so I'm runnin'. Ima keep runnin till I get to the hall. Aha! There's a door! And it's unlocked! Finally. There's a really big shiny red button. I wanna press it. So I'm pressing it, and… Aw, it's not for the really big door! It's for the other door that was over there that used to be locked. So, I guess I'll just go over there… HA SUCKA CAN'T CATCH ME! Lame-o. So, I'm gonna like, run into this hallway over here and… OH SHIT THEY CAUGHT ME. Oh no. Well, this isn't a problem. This is exactly why I have Mary and that other dude with me. I wonder why they never get out of their A.G.W.S….

Aha, I love that little flashing phenomenon that happens after a fight! Move out my way, sucka! Okay, running… and running… finally, there's a turn! And there's a door! Awesome! So I'm gonna go inside it. Whoo, treasure chest. But this isn't what I'm looking for, so I'll just leave. Here goes another door! And _this _one has a REALLY big red button! With a 4 on it! OMG I THINK THIS ONE IS THE ONE. Whoo! Now, I shall run to the door… with a giant 4 on it. I am so proud of myself for doing this puzzle! Whoo! Maybe it'll lead to the bridge!

…Or not. Ah well. But oh shit, my people have been injured! With lots of blood! "What the hell happened here?!"

"While Henry here was expressing his love for ducks, the door shut suddenly and this dude got injured on the way out. We were sorta ambushed."

"…Why does everyone love ducks? Anyway, get out of here as soon as possible. I'll handle this."

"Yes sir!"

These idiots. I don't get what is so cool about ducks. Since when were ducks cool? Dogs are way cooler than ducks. But they'll never learn, these Kukaians. They must learn somehow…

Hey, there's a corridor! With a couple of doors. I should open them…! Hmm…

"Hey, Little Master! There's a system on it! Try to destroy the system first!" Mary said. She was the observant type. The soldier remained quiet.

"Oh, thanks Mary." What would I do without her…? That's why she's second in command. So I'm just gonna go follow this wire and… BAM! That's gone. I don't know whether I should go inside the door or not. Hmm…nah. There might be soldiers in there or something. I'm going to go through the door at the end of the hallway and leave this lame ass room.

…Shit, some Shot Crabs found me. Well, this sucks. But I'll like, kill them and stuff, and then I shall continue on my way. Whee!

Hehe, there's a door here. With a number 5 on it. So I'm going to press that flashy button, and be all gangsta-tized. Now it's open! And I shall enter the door! Hey, I've been here before! With that wounded guard. But, they left. I wonder if they're okay… Anyway, I'll just go through this door up here, since I didn't go through this one last time.

Hey, this room's full of A.G.W.S.! It looks kinda dangerous; I don't wanna do anything… I'll just cross the bridge. Who knows what'll happen if I mess with something. Why does this ship have to be so big? All I want is to find the bridge! Ugh! Crap, there are soldiers! I gotta kill 'em. Mwahaha, no one can face Jr.! But they're just small fries. I'm gonna go through both of these doors, that conveniently don't have any locks or security on them. Lucky me.

…One has a U-TIC Card. while the other has Card No. 3. How lucky is this? I have two cards here. Whoo hoo!

Well, I remember the number 5 door. So I'll go through that. Hey, and there's a number 3 door! With a door right next to it. I'll just go in there and put this little card in the console… voila! Door is unlocked. So now, I shall totally enter the door and through the corridor to reach the… OMG A BRIDGE. It's a miracle, I finally found it! I'm so happy!

This bridge looks WAY more different than ours. Probably because ours is made for our 100-Series realians. But, there's a console in the middle. It's pretty weird that there isn't security on the bridge, but that's their problem. Ooh, pretty colors… Ooh, it needs a password. I've got an idea! I… Like… Ducks…

"Little Master, what have you done! It's the right password, but now it's all flashin like crazy! You probably set off some sorta security. Try to protect me, but don't shoot up all the data, okay?"

"Let me do my job, Mary! Shooting is what I do best!" Bring it on, spida!

…Oh shit, I shot up some of the data. I hope they can still use it.

"…We lost all of it? You're kidding, Shelley!"

"I'm not. We lost every part."

"Little Master, if you stopped watchin dem cheesy action flicks, we woulda got some data!"

"Oh man! I'm really sorry! Just don't kill me for it!" Crap, I really screwed up this time…

* * *

Please people, tell me what you think of this? I decided to do the whole U-TIC Battleship thing, because it's so short. I'll probably combine the Durandal with the Kukai Foundation, since it's so short for the next chapter. Um, I'm thinking about after I'm done with this, I'll do Episode II with Jr.'s POV. Just do a series or something. I don't know. What do you think?

"Aha, I love that little flashing phenomenon that happens after a fight! "  
You know exactly what happens in the game. You kill someone, and you flash, and you're all invisible and stuff. Don't go all n00b on me.

Please people, review! Even if you flame and totally say "You suck", review! I would really appreciate that. Thanks.

Mango


	3. The Durandal

Xenosaga: I Like Ducks

Author's Note: I'm sorry I haven't been writing anything! On either of the stories! Writer's block for real, d00d. It's so lame, I swear. But my friend (Lady Asuna) was like "Try listening to music!" So I did, and I'm not having any luck. Probably because it was in Spanish, lol. But anyway, tell me how you like this chapter!

Summary: Jr. rescues the Elsa, and travels the Kukai Foundation.

Disclaimer: Yet again, I own nothing… And Jr. has always had a naughty mouth, so beware for language!

* * *

Wow, I wonder how they got into this predicament! I've never seen all these gnosis gather in one place before! Let's go save those sitting ducks!

I think we probably got some kind of damage. When I get to the Kukai Foundation, I'll get repairs done to the Durandal. Then, it'll be all better! Well, I guess I should go show some hospitality to my guests!

"Okay, this is TOP secret! As in, this is the secret development I'm working on as a side job." I unlock the door, and kabaam. These poor people… they never got done changing fully into gnosis. It saddens me much.

"This is Betty. We found her out in space after the remnants of the Gnosis. Just because she was transformed doesn't mean she's not human. We found the letter B on her, so I let Gaignun name her. And he came up with Betty." Hey, MOMO doesn't look too well. I think it's making her feel bad. …Yup, she's gagging. Hopefully, she'll be alright.

"It's a shame what goes on these days." Shion sighed.

"Yes. But let us not forget that it was Mizrahi who opened Pandora's Box, and summoned the Gnosis." Yeah, maybe I'm a little harsh. MOMO is that old man's creation. Whoops, probably should have thought about that. THAR SHE BLOWS. She's crying, and runs outta the room. Damn, do I feel bad. I should probably apologize later….

As I was giving the tour, chaos seemed very interested in things. KOS-MOS did too. It seems she's familiar with our Encephalon room. She knows the name of all twelve emulators. Now, we have to collect the real Zohar, and then our research will be complete! Finally. It took enough.

Now, I'm going to let them go on and travel around the ship, to their hearts content.

…

Finally, we're at the Kukai Foundation! It seems everyone is very impressed. Especially Shion, who just realized that the Durandal is actually part of the decoration. How slow is she, man? It probably took her a year to find out ducks quack. Ugh. Whatever.

"Hey everyone, let's go to Gaignun's private beach!" Oh, this is priceless. That's very interesting how MOMO and Shion quickly changed out of their clothes to their bathing suits. Aw, and MOMO's playing volleyball with chaos. Isn't that nice. Let's go mess with the weather system. Hm, what should I pick…? THUNDERSTORM.

"…I hate thunder. I HATE THUNDER! MAKE IT STOP!" Wow, Shion's a crybaby. She's all afraid of thunder. I assume that some kind of bad memory is connected to it, but this is hilarious. She's all freaking out. Let me change back the whether so she doesn't like, die.

There we go! And she's all better now! Thank God. Her whining was annoying me so much. I mean, MOMO wasn't even freaking out about it. And she's like, afraid of everything. But maybe that's because chaos was near her. He makes everyone calm. But, I don't know anything. Nope.

Well, I guess that initiated that it was time to go. Aw, and I just started to have some fun, too! Ah well, I guess we'll all play on the beach some other day.

…

Well, there's nothing to do, so I guess we'll just go on and explore the Foundation. Give these guys a tour! That'll be fun. So, we're going to the A.G.W.S. shop, first. I probably need a tune-up for my A.G.W.S., so I'll buy some of this awesome stuff. Maybe a Guard Recovery, and a Guard Cleaner, you know, for those nasty status ailments those Gnosis give us. Yeah, and all our A.G.W.S. need some upgrades, so I'll purchase those, too. Thank god I have these 10 discounts! This store is expensive!

What the hell? I don't remember this place! What does the sign say? "Professor's…. Robot… Academy…?" What the fuck? I don't remember this fucking shit! When did this come here!

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm the Professor, ho!"

"Get out of my face, bitch!"

"No, whore!"

"Forget you, you old fuck!"

Well that ended on a happy note.

…

Well, now that _that's _over with, I think I'll just go into one of the sectors here and get me a drink over at the bar…

"What would you like?"

"Give me somethin' hard!"

Damn, there's some chick crying her eyes out. She's making the beer seem diluted. And what's the point of drinking beer if you can't enjoy it? Damn her!

"I… lost my engagement ring!" The crying woman continued to cry her eyes out, as if she had lost her life. I am _so _gonna regret this, but…

"Lady, if I can find it, will you stop crying?" I said in a calm voice. She's really pissing me the hell off, though!

"ZOMG THANK YOU SO MUCH. SQUEE"

"Stop hugging me. I demand it." I said in an annoyed tone, and pushed her off of me. What? I can't stand it when people hug me. I think they should like, die or something. Unless it's MOMO. I don't mind if it's MOMO, 'cause she's a nice Realian. Well, it doesn't matter whether she's a Realian or not. She's still a not person… God, I think I'm drunk… Shit.

"I think we should go to the nearby hotel…" Shion says. Fuck her, I don't need any sleep!

"No, we shouldn't. I don't need any sleep! I'm fine!" I exclaim. She thinks she knows every damn thing…

"Come on, Jr.! It'll be fun! It'll be like a slumber party!" MOMO is so innocent… and cute… Damn her and her convincing/conniving ways.

"Okay, MOMO! It'll be fun." I grab MOMO's hand, and walk up the stairs to see our room. She apparently wants to share, for some odd reason… But it's fine with me.

"How much do I owe?" Shion asked the little girl.

"Nothing, 'cause I like you!"

"Thanks so much!"

Later…

I feel so much better! I guess I shouldn't drink that much anymore…. Burp. Oh well, at least it was fun. Wait, what the hell?! I shared a room with MOMO!? I bet old man will have some kind of joke about me now.

"How'd you sleep, Jr.?" MOMO looks so cute when she first wakes up.

"Fine, MOMO. Thanks for asking." I suddenly got a hug from MOMO, and then she ran downstairs. She's so weird at times, really. I'll never understand girls. But now, it's time to go explore more of the city! Well, I've already been here a bajillion times, so it's more of a tour. I guess. I don't know.

"Okay, this is Sector 26! Say goodbye to it, 'cause now we're going into Sector 27! Whoo hoo!" Well, at least MOMO seems excited, and chaos… he's optimistic as usual.

We're in East6, or the wannabe gang hideout. King's such a wuss. He has a male cat named Josephine! How does that work? Is his cat a transvestite or something? Issues.

I'm raiding some laundry, yup. 'Cause I can. And what do you know, a Fish Detector. That lady at the bar with the engagement ring problem wanted it… I'll probably give it to her sometime later. If I'm not mean, that is. Hehehe…

…I should probably go back to the Elsa, since Allen is waiting for us. Darn that Shion for making him wait. Oh well, he just missed a first-class tour of the Foundation. His problem, right? Yeah, that's what I thought.

* * *

ZOMG spaz. I took me like forever to write this story, and I really wasn't expecting any Jr./MOMO, but it made its way in there. I guess that's the replacement for not mentioning anything with ducks. Hope you like. Please review and I'll love you forever. Okay, bai bai! 


	4. Encephalon

Xenosaga: I Like Ducks

Author's Note: I haven't written a chapter for either of my stories in like, the history of ever! I thought I would be able to write them more quickly since school is out now, but boy was I WRONG! I have to celebrate two back to back parties, and then yet another party the week after that! And then two days after THAT party, there's ANOTHER birthday. And then my birthday is sometime within that month, and there are two other birthdays surrounding it…. Yeah, it's birthday palooza. Isn't that just grand?

Summary: There's crack everywhere! Regardless of whether it's in an encephalon or in a real place.

Warning: Profanity and random mentions of ducks, and imaginary credit card companies. Also, slight Shion bashing.

Disclaimer: I do not own Xenosaga. Namco does. But only half of the staff own Episode III. The other half belongs to Bandai. Yes, I actually know that they merged! What do you take me for, stupid? Gosh. I'm not like Jr., you know. I'm just writing this story in his point of view. Oh, and the Kukai Credit Card Company is something from the top of my imagination.

* * *

This is _so _bogus as hell right about now! I mean like, the whole Federation turned their backs on me! Just because someone brought a fake tape about me doesn't mean anything! I mean, yea we went over to the Woglinde and searched it, but we totally did not blow it up like the video showed! Now we're all locked up in this small-ass room, and Shion's totally suggested that we should hack into KOS-MOS and see what's up. She (KOS-MOS) observes everything, so it'll be just so easy, since she has XXX security, and almost nothing could hack that. Well, maybe the CEO could, but who's asking? Right? Oh god, I'm being weird again. What ever shall I do?

What do you know, chaos has volunteered to go kill the guards guarding the door! That'll actually work, since the rest of us use weapons and he doesn't. Well, he has gloves, but those aren't like, "BOOM FEAR MY GLOVES. THEY'LL CAUSE STATIC ELECTRICITY." Oh shit, he did "the look". "Sorry, chaos! I didn't really mean to make fun of your gloves!"

"I know you like ducks, Jr."

Where the hell did the duck part come in from? It was so random! I hate his mind-reading ability, but I hate his random duck expressions even more Hey, him frowning at me looks like a duck, too…

"I am not a duck. Don't make me say the word that rhymes with that, Jr."

"Yes, sir!" chaos is a very deadly person. I shouldn't mess with him, with his static-filled gloves, hehe. I wonder what he does with his hands that makes him want to wear gloves all the time. I can only imagine... "Stop glaring at me!"

I guess I shouldn't even think about it at all. He might read my mind again. Or worse, mind rape me. Oh no, that would be bad! But anyway, since he killed the guards, we can be on our way to get the hell… Oh, right…. We need our weapons. We don't even have a Connection Gear left! I guess we have to find that, too.

Mwa ha! We have weapons! chaos found them. I have to go thank him for that later. So, now we can go and kill people! But now we have to go find our connection gear. So we're walkin' down the hallway like we own the place (well, I do!) and there's this guard. We gotta go kick some ass, and look in nearly every room for our shit. Well, of course it wouldn't be in the casino, because who hides in a casino? That's just retarded as hell. So I guess it'll be in the other Residential Area. …And what do you know, it is! That's so convenient! So now I'll just be working my way through…

Damn, they're even guarding the train! What the fuck is that for? That means we have to go kick some more ass! I guess the Federation enjoys having their ass kicked. That's fine with me, because I can try out whatever Tech Attacks I feel like! They will be whored out by the time I exterminate all these people.

And now that they're gone, I can get on the train and go to… the dock. Right… I think KOS-MOS is in her pod or whatever. Whatever the hell Shion calls it. But this is so bogus! I can't believe we have to sneak aboard the Elsa! Totally bogus as hell. And this is totally ironic: the hatch is open! How…? These people are really retarded. But I guess that's a good thing for us.

Ironically, we're in the basement. Now we can go over to her hangar and… Ooh, an A.G.W.S. shop! I need to buy more things! Just let me find my Kukai Card and I'll buy a shitload of stuff! Happy birthday to me!

"Jr., don't buy a lot of things! We don't have much G." Oh my god, does Shion _ever _shut up? I swear, she needs a guy to shut her ass up. Well, she did have that one guy, but he died. I bet he committed suicide 'cause she never shut up. I don't blame him; I would have done the same thing too.

"I'm using my credit card so shut the fuck up!" Shit, I think I scared MOMO with my bashing of her "buddy". "Sorry, MOMO. I didn't mean to be all ebil like that."

"Its okay, Jr…." She's so forgiving. I think it's like, installed in her program to be all sweet and nice and adorable. There's no way she can be that nice to everyone after any circumstance. Absolutely no way. I think that's why I like her, though… I prefer her more than to old man over here. chaos, stop mentally laughing! It's annoying!

Now we're in KOS-MOS' module room, and this is a very odd way of entering into an encephalon. I mean, I've entered into one before, but never like this. It's in such a small, enclosed room. But this is one odd android, so I guess anything is possible.

…Whoa, what the fuck? We're in Miltia… And those are URTVs walking around shooting people… What is this, the Miltian Conflict? But that was fourteen years ago! How is this possible? I guess she collects from each of our memories… I only hope that MOMO doesn't see the one about Joachim… Hey, what happened to Shion, chaos, and Allen? They're like, gone! And it's not like they could have gone on behind us…

Shit, there are searchlights everywhere! No, MOMO, don't run to it! Shit, they found us. Now we have to go kick some ass. Some robotic ass, but still ass. …What the fuck, there are Federation soldiers? This is getting so annoying, with all these Federation bitches. Well, there's a bridge. I guess the best we can do is to go through the tunnel under it and see where it leads us…

We're in the subway! Wow, I must have a sharper memory than I imagine! I didn't even remember the subway. Oh well. It's a shame how there are all kinds of Gnosis and mechs in the streets. But I guess there are no real people who could help us, either. There's a lot of debris around here! You would think I would have a cleaner memory than this! This is taking "a dirty mind" too far! I never imagined that phrase to be literal. So retarded. But I guess I'll just like, go down the escalator. WHEE. Man, it doesn't even work! What kind of shit is this? Oh well, I guess I'll just walk down the hall, and blow up anything I see…Like these windows! Bang bang, baby! Mmkay, now that the windows are busted and there's absolutely nothing else to do, I'll walk down this hall and go bang! with the debris. Oh, how I hate debris. Oh well.

Ooh, another tunnel! There's a train, there's a train, MOMO! Isn't it totally awesome? Too bad it's totally all crashed and wrecked and stuff. But still, authentic trains are so cool! With the tracks and stuff… Oh well. I gotta climb all over the trains and stuff… There are so many trains here! And they're all crashed into each other. It's sorta hard to go up these trains, with MOMO in front of me and… Well, I _am _a guy. I'm going to think of these things. She's so cute and petite… Jr., get your self together! This is no time to be thinking about these kinds of things! If Joachim knew what was going through my mind right now, he would kill me. I'm pretty sure he'd know how, even in death. But whatever, we're at the end! But there's an icky sewer. I hope this doesn't ruin my jacket. Because I just bought this and I have no time to go to a dry-cleaner.

There's all this shit down here in a sewer! What kind of sewer is this? Yet again, there's all these Gnosis down here, too. Bogus. But I don't care. I just want to get out of this icky, icky muck. So I'll just climb under these two bridges and get the hell out of here!

…Oh man, I so didn't want MOMO to see this… She never knew how Joachim died. He died before she actually met him. She wasn't really… awake. But um, it's sad that she saw his true death. He felt guilty about summoning the Gnosis, and the destruction of Miltia, so he jumped off a building. So… much guilt. I sort of understand, though… All the URTVs are gone, and it's all my fault. But, I have to be strong right now. For MOMO. "MOMO, stop! It's an illusion!"

"Daddy!"

"It's not really him, MOMO." I feel so bad right now. But we have to go in this portal, to escape the nothingness. Since we've ran into this bad memory, there's only one more that might be worse. I hope we don't face that one. I fear that we will, though…

Holy shit, there's Shion and chaos! "Hey, long time no see!"

"Hey, Jr.! Where have you been? I can't believe we were separated." Shion just doesn't know how to shut up, does she? I bet chaos had quite an earful. I pity him, but at least it was him and not me! I probably would have shot her.

"Just… I don't know." I really don't know. Does chaos really have to mention the church? Yes, we all see the church! And the church is probably where we'll face our fears. Shion's memories are probably there, seeing that I'm not too familiar with it. But she… she's more worried than anything. I hope she'll be alright.

"Feb! Feb!" Who the hell is Feb?

"Shion… they're still suffering… Save Cicily and Cathe, Shion…"

"How, Feb? You have to tell me how!"

"Save them… Enter this door, and they will be saved…" This doesn't seem right. It sounds too easy. I mean, if all you had to do was enter the door, she could have done that! I bet this will be the last shebang. Oh, this'll suck. Hard.

Oh fuck, I knew it'd be like this…

…Finally… It's over. It was difficult for us to face our pasts, but it's over… chaos, stop saying what I'm thinking! It's annoying! And now we're getting what we want. …Why is KOS-MOS on a cross? She's tied up. Why is she in her subconscious?

"Ye shall be as gods…" Oh, what a great password. Um… well we got what we came for. Let's get the hell out of here.

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I don't know what made this chapter so hard on me! I think it's because I haven't played Xenosaga in a while. I don't know the quotes because I can no longer find teh videos on YouTube. Everything is about Episode III, so I can hardly find anything about Episode I. One day, I'll redo this story. But not now, 'cause this is hard enough.

Read and review, everyone! Bai bai.

Mango


	5. Kukai Foundation

Xenosaga: I Like Ducks

Author's Note: I died so I'm doing these chapters as soon as possible. I owe them to the people who actually read this.

Warnings: Cursing, because Jr. just doesn't know how and when to shut up.

Disclaimer: I don't own Xenosaga or any of its characters, Namco-Bandai does. That's why they're getting paid.

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That was one hell of an experience. I can't believe that was all in KOS-MOS' subconscious! If that was in there, there's no telling what else could be in there. But, I don't even remember her being there with us! I wonder how she got all that information. But, whatever. I can't wait for them to let us go. We so didn't shoot the Woglinde! And this will be proof.

Finally! Get the hell off of my ship, yo! That's what I think they should do! Gaignun needs to stop sending me images of ducks while I'm experiencing happiness. He ruins the whole damn experience, man! Lame!

What the hell, yo? THERE ARE GNOSIS. I have to go save the town now! Don't worry people, I'm coming!

Oh how nice, the mayor is waiting for us to come and save his lazy butt. Like I really need this! But, whatever. There are Gnosis all over the place and he's just standing there selling items! Well, I guess that's convenient. We may need more items later!

The closest building is the hotel, so let's go there. Damn, we're too late. The clerk is dead. …I still feel something around him, though. HE'S ALIVE. But barely. He's saying something about… a code… the picture? Maybe he's just muttering something. I don't know. Hey, what happened to his daughter? We'll have to find her then, huh.

I climb up the ladder and I find a button. And… I'm in the bar. Wow. I press the button, and the cargo elevator goes up! Whoa. Would have never expected that to happen. I walk back and I see a picture. It's really shiny. Like really, really shiny. And it was taken on… October 28th… maybe that has to do with the code! I climb back down the ladder, and hurry over to the safe, killing the Troll that's in my way. There's the daughter! Run, little girl. Run for your life. The terrible Gnosis are coming.

I climb back up the ladder, all the way to the third floor this time, and I slide off the roof like a crazy lunatic! You only live once, right? I scream "I LIKE DUCKS!" as I slide down the roof; I land on top of a dumpster. I hear a scream from inside the dumpster, and I decide to use my vaporizing skills and blow it up. There was actually a person in there! And everyone thought I was crazy! He thanks me and runs out of the gate, in which I follow after him.

I run back to the bar (and I would seriously die for a beer right now), and I see a guy hiding behind the cardboard, trying to fool the Gnosis. I can't believe these things couldn't see him. How stupid! I kill the Kobold in the way, and I talk to the guy hiding. At first he doesn't want to leave, but I convince him to. Three down, more to go!

I walk down through the Gnosis-infested street and go into Sector 27, where I see an old man on top of a statue. "Old man, I'm coming!" I yell, and I run up toward him and the Gnosis. I kill the Gnosis and save the old man from the statue, and he runs like the old man that he is.

I walk into the cleaners, and like, pretty much every where, there's a Gnosis! Oh, and I was going to get my jacket cleaned! I've got so much blood on it. There's people trapped here, too, and there's debris all over the place! My vaporizer can't handle it all, though. I walk around to the first door, and there's a lady there standing in front of the ladder, talking about her son. "I'll rescue him!" I say, not thinking. I really should think about what I'm saying sometimes. She runs out of the building, and there's another one saved. Hurrah.

I climb up the ladder, and… there's a cat? Well, it's on the other side of the window, and I don't feel like breaking it! I run down the walk and destroy the wooden wall. There's a little boy inside; I think it's the lady's son. He's pretty scared, I can tell. "Run, and don't look back!" That's six so far!

I climb back down the ladder, and go up the stairs this time. I go through the door, and I kill the Gel Fish that's in my way, and I go through the first door I see. I go through all the debris and I exit through the other door. Lame. I wish the flaming debris in my way earlier.

I strut across the catwalk, modeling for all the Gnosis, and I run through the corridors, fighting any random Larva Dolls in my way. I finally get to a room with a window, and I peek inside to see the baker about to be raped by a Gnosis. Not cool, yo. Not cool at all. I just can't bear to see anymore, so I walk outside through the door.

I go down the ramp, and press the button, making the magical slope turn into a platform. I HAVE MAGIC POWARZ. No, I don't. I just have awesome button-pressing skillz. I walk across the platform I'm on, and climb up the ladder to the third floor, getting on the new platform. I go inside the middle doorway, unknowing what's inside.

I kill the Bugbear with my awesome Moonlit Serenade skills, and save the baker from his disgusting doom. "Dude. Put your pants up and let's go," I say, directing him out the door. "That's gross." He runs away, and tells me to use the secret exit in the back of the room. As I look around, my foot slips and I slide down the ramp. Whee!

I climb the ladder outside the bakery, and I go all the way up to the third floor. The doors are open, and I run through them, to run into King. He seriously phails hard, but he's a citizen. And, he counts! That stupid hideous gender-confused whore; he needs to run like the little wuss that he is.

I cross the catwalk and run down the stairs to see Johnny cornered by a Troll. Trolls capturing trolls… how interesting. But, I guess I could help him, even if he is a thug. Even thugs need rescuing, after all. I kill the Troll, and talk to Johnny, who apparently thinks the Gnosis is there. I vaporize the crate behind him, and Mina's standing there, who's apparently the smart one. She drags him off, and those two are rescued. There can't be many more left!

I go through the door, and go back up the stairs because I just couldn't think of going the other way. But, I'm glad I went this way, because I can go through the other door. I kill the Larva Doll and press the switch. I SO HAVE BUTTON PRESSING SKILLZ. THANK THE DUCKS. So, the bookcase slides open, and I have to go across the catwalks to go to the new opening.

I go through the corridor and kill the Larva Doll that the cat's hissing at. What's it named? Josephine? …But it's a guy! I swear, King is corrupting the straight animals. Nothing's safe anymore. What's he going to name next, the Gnosis?

I go back to East6, and go through the other door, which the Larva Doll was blocking earlier. I climb down the stairs, and there's another Larva Doll attacking a person. So, I kill this final Larva Doll, and save the final person, and let her run off. Finally! All I want to do is rest after this… I leave the building, and all the Gnosis have disappeared from the streets. I run all the way back to Sector 26, and speak to the mayor, and purchase some more items from him. I use a Med Kit S on myself and run back to the exit. FREEDOM!!!!

…Um, no it isn't. There's another fucking Gnosis! No damn way! I run toward the Gnosis, with chaos and KOS-MOS at my side, and I scream my battle cry, "DUCKS!!!!"

* * *

I thought that was an exciting way to end the chapter. I don't know about how recent these new chapters will be, but I'll try to not have like a year hiatus. Okay, bai bai.

Marshmellow


	6. Song of Nephilim

Xenosaga: I Like Ducks

Author's Note: I'm not going to be doing chapters as quickly as I have been doing with these two. Right now, I am currently trying to catch up with everything, so that no one complains when school starts back up again. That is on MONDAY. I'll be going to eighth grade, hurrah. But yeah, I hope you like this chapter, and that you continue reading. I apologize that in the last chapter, Jr. sounded more like Reno from Final Fantasy VII. I'm just really out of it. So he's not really sounding like himself or I. He's sounding like some curse-worthy old man. Whoops about that. I apologize.

To make these chapters longer, I shall be including boss battles. I'm not including regular battles, however. There are just too many to include it. This will be coming in effect starting with this chapter.

I'm also going to start mentioning save points, but I won't be all, "I SAVED MY GAME HERE." Instead, I'll use it more like a checkpoint, or a landmark. I can't do that in Awakening, because it would be weird if it was all, "I SAW THAT GIANT QUESTION MARK, AND I WAS HAPPEH." …Yeah, see what I mean? So, only for this story.

Summary: Whoo. We're in the Song of Nephilim, bebeh! LONG CHAPTER. This makes up for chapter seven of Awakening, does it not?

Disclaimer: I do not own Xenosaga or its characters. These things belong to Namco-Bandai. I also don't own Fall Out Boy's song "Sugar, We're Goin' Down".

* * *

The… damn thing turned from one monster to two! I can't believe that! Evil!! I jump in the air and attack them with my newest tech attach, Mystic Nocturne, which highly damages the first Gigas, but not the second. Huh, I wonder why. They're the same thing, though! The second one attacks me, getting a critical hit, and it stabs me in the side. I wince, holding my side as I keep standing. KOS-MOS throws me a Med Kit, which stops the bleeding, but the pain is still there. chaos jumps in the air and wings sprout from his back; he says "Angel blow!" and chi rains down on them. He's so spiritual. KOS-MOS uses X·BUSTER, which was the move she had used when they escaped from Cathedral Ship, and it kills the first Gigas. One down, one to go! 

Now, seeing that the second Gigas has a different weakness, chaos has the bright idea to change strategy. "Who told you that?" I say sarcastically, using another Med Kit on myself. "A duck," he says smiling. "A duck." As he tries to have a smart-alack moment, the Gigas takes his spear, and stabs him in the side, wounding him almost fatally. I look through my coat pockets for a Med Kit DS, and I throw it to him, hoping he'll use it before the Gnosis has a chance to attack him again. He does thankfully, and he smiles to show his appreciation. KOS-MOS apparently does have emotions, because she sure as hell didn't appreciate what happened. She runs up to it, practically sprinting, and her arm turns into a blade, and she slices the thing all over the place! Like six times! I wouldn't want to get on her bad side. I'd be afraid. Anyway, so it's not as stupid as I thought it was. It guards one of the attacks, but the other five are just brutal. She sliced his spear in half! The blood poured from its side, and it was gross. Seriously gross. The others just stood there in awe, not knowing what to do, basically. chaos ran up to it raised his hands up in the air, and screams "Heaven's wrath!" as he drops his hands and lightning, in its natural state, go right through it! It falls over and dies, before disappearing, and we run as fast as we can to the launch pad.

We climb aboard the shuttle, and we notice that MOMO's not with us. "Shion… where's MOMO?" I ask, and she looks outside and almost falls out of the shuttle. "MOMO! What are you doing?! Get on the shuttle!"

"I've got to help treat these injured people. This one's bleeding heavily…"

What a nice Realian. I could care less about those people. We can't just leave her, though.

"Okay, MOMO! We'll be back for you!"

….Apparently we can. I shake my head, and we quickly are sent back to the Durandal. People are just pushing us, trying to get to the Residential Area. We get right back on the shuttle, and go back to the Kukai Foundation. "MOMO!" I yell, looking for her, and she's nowhere to be found. Where is she? Damn it! I hope she wasn't kidnapped…

"MOMO isn't here. Where could she have gone?" I swear; these people know how to point out the obvious, don't they? "Maybe she went back to the residential area by herself…" She runs back on the shuttle, and we go back on the Durandal, As soon as we make it there, we all run in a group to the train. When we get off the train, we run into the most obvious person ever: Allen. "Allen, have you seen MOMO?" Shion asks, like she actually expected a correct answer from him.

"Uh, no chief. I thought she was with you," he says dumbfound. Hell, if she was with us, we wouldn't be asking him! He's such an idiot. "No, she stayed behind to help the civilians," Ziggy says. Everyone points out the obvious, don't they? "Well, she's not here." I see Allen sigh as he moves toward some people with a first aid kit in his hands. Always trying to help out someone, isn't he? How nice of him.

Right when the Gnosis are at their worst, we get unexpected help! Vector Industries. Um, what the hell? Why the hell are they here? And also, _how _did they get here? Maybe it's because we have two of their staff members. Someone's sending a transmission from them. …How do they break through without us allowing it? That sneaky bastard does know his way around the place, doesn't he? …Well, he made the UMN. Duh. He probably knows a whole lot of things, Jr. Gaignun keeps telling me about his fascinating duck stories, and I'm not in the mood.

"Do you hear that? It's like… a song…" What the fuck, yo? "She can hear it, too? What's going on, Gaignun?"

"I don't know. She's one special human, though…" Okay… "It's called the Song of Nephilim. It slowly drives everything insane." I'm so smart. But whoa, where is it? And why is operational? It's probably that damn Albedo! Albedo!

Well, her name's Miyuki. And now, KOS-MOS has to save everyone's asses again. That is one fascinating android, man. She has some kickass technology. I can't believe she's only a prototype! That is some crazy shit.

So, it is the Song of Nephilim. I can't believe it. Well, this is my problem with Albedo! I'll handle it! "Out of my way, old man!"

"You're too mentally unstable, Jr." Like he knows anything. All he can process is data and numbers. He doesn't know shit. "This is my problem!"

"Um, dude. Shut the duck up and listen. Let us help you." …That didn't just happen, did it? No, I'm imagining things. But whatever. I'll listen to whatever my subconscious is trying to say. I'll let them help. They just need to stay out of my way. "Stay out of my way, old man."

I get to go shopping again! Hurrah. Kukai Card, you're coming back into use! I can't believe you were actually collecting dust, old buddy! I walk over to the A.G.W.S. shop, and because I'm so nice, I buy upgrades for everyone! Getting me some Guard Cleaners and some Guard Recovery accessories, mhm. I have some frames and some generators, too. Yeshua knows we need them, mhm.

I make my way to the Elsa, and Captain Matthews suggests that we can go to the Dock Colony. HURRAH. I CAN GO BUY THINGS AT TALK TO ME. Oh, and I have to go tell Tommy that the Pink Bug thing says hai. Right…

When I get there, I splurge. Oh my God they have Med Kit DX for sale finally! Yay! This is a dream come true! I mean, yeah, they're like 150 G, but c'mon. And besides, with my Kukai Card's 10 discount, this will only be about 135 G. It's still a lot, but it's better than nothing. YEAH BABY I'M GOING TO SPLURGE. …As well as buy chaos's gloves and MOMO's rod. Oh, I miss her. I bet that sick Albedo raped her in the Song of Nephilim or something. …Gloves are really cheap. I never knew I could spend 80 G on something so powerful.

"Thanks for not making me say the word that rhymes with 'duck' about you," he says smoothly. Oh, nice, chaos. "No problem. I wouldn't want to be called one anyway." Awkward silence with the rest of the party. C'mon, you can't really like, expect me to be anti-social like KOS-MOS! I'm a kid! Or am I…? Mwahahaha! …Albedo moment! Oh no.

I buy a couple more accessories and get out of the store, running back to the Elsa and telling him to step on it. Whoops, I forgot to deliver the Pink Bug's message! Oh well, I'm sure he can get King or someone to do it. If they don't blow him up.

I tell Tony to pilot the Elsa to the device, since the Durandal is too big. Besides, they can help with our giant gnosis problem. The Dämmurung won't be able to handle them forever. Shion asks for them to drive around the top. Who the hell cares about what the top of the damn thing is about? Apparently she does, Rubedo. Apparently she does. We go around to where there's apparently an entrance, and I run in there was fast as possible. I've finally found her! There she is!

"MOMO! MOMO!" She looks up, but her eyes are soulless. There's no personality whatsoever. Everyone else starts calling out for her, and she stands up. "Damn that bastard. He's stolen her subconscious!"

"Uh, what?" Shion asks. She's worked with Realians before; I don't know why the hell she doesn't know about this. "It's like the spiritual link Gaignun and I do when we speak telepathically, only backwards. By doing a reverse spiritual link, you can go inside a person's subconscious and take out any memories you feel like taking out!" Ooh, damn that bastard. He'll pay for this!

"Oh, that's terrible. Poor MOMO," Shion says, again pointing out the obvious. "You should all leave. This is dangerous."

"It's too dangerous to go alone!" Whoa, chaos. He's… touching my shoulder. And invading personal space He's like, a foot taller than me. Not digging this, man. Not at all. Just wanna go 'Stop touching me' right now. Not cool.

"…Fine then. Just stay out of my way!" Old man needs to stop rolling his eyes at me. That's really getting annoying now. Cyborg finna get jacked up later. I might go anti-U-DO on him!

I don't know why, but this structure seems so familiar to me… I decide to go shooting crazy to let out all my frustration, and I shoot about six boxes. "Jr.!" I hear Shion whine, "Get a hold of yourself!" Whatever. They expect me to calm at a time like this? Poor MOMO has no subconscious! How the hell do they expect me to be calm?!

I climb off the odd elevator, apparently on level three, and walk down until I find another entrance. What an odd structure. The door says "Tower 1". So, there are towers in here? WEIRD. I press a button on the balcony and a green light shines in the middle of the room. It's pretty… I walk back into the previous room, and I try to retrace my steps. Damn, the elevator went back down. But there's like, a chute. Wonder where it goes. WHEE!!!!

We're back to the bottom of the elevator! Hurrah. But damn, I want to go back up! I'm going to shoot the really big boxes this time! "No, Jr., don't!" Shion yells at me. But I don't care. I'm having fun! I haven't had fun like this in a long time! We rise to level six, like whoo, and I run right off the elevator! Um, uh oh. There are two doors. "I say we take this one!" I say, pointing to the one closest to me.

"I say this one," chaos says, pointing at the second one. We play rock, paper, scissors, and he wins. Damn him. We go through his door, and it's a dead end. HAHA. We go back, and go through my door this time! We go across the bridge, and we use a Bio Sphere as we go across it. I'm really out of it, so I need it. I want to press the button, but it's all dull and shit, so I decide not to. Whoo.

So, now we're in a different tower. And there's that shiny plate of glory! Okay, from that room, we do eenie-meenie-miney-moe, and we pick the northwestern door. It would just be plain stupid if we just went through all of them! Though we're probably gonna have to do that anyway… oh well! We run into some more infected Realians, and then we decide that with our current party, we won't be able to fight as well. So, guess who has to go? ME, DAMMIT. Oh, whatever. They can all just go kiss my ass right there. I stand next to MOMO as I watch my replacement, Shion, skip into my place. I hate her right about now, I really do. She thinks she's all that, but she's not. She's only there for healing, duh. If I learned as many healing ether as she did, I'd stay in that party. But that's just not my thing. At all.

MOMO sees something shiny in the corner before we leave, and she runs up to get it. Apparently, it's some sort of armor. I think it's amazing that Joachim left it here because he knew that she would come one day. Or maybe, it's a plan by Albedo! Damn him!

As we come out of our door, there's a Realian right across from us! They have flamethrowers, what the fuck? That's like, whoa. chaos comes up with this awesome move that kills people with a giant snowball. It wipes out the Calx and is free for us to go! Hurrah. I swear, he has the most creative attacks. We go climb down the ladder behind the realian, and go all the way around to the next ladder and climb down again. We go the left and pass the first ladder, simply because we voted on it, and we climb back up on the next ladder. I think we're going in circles, to tell you the truth. We cross the catwalk, and go into the shaft.

We go to the right platform and we destroy the big red containers. I can tell MOMO likes it, because she goes, "WHOO MORE EXPLOSIONS" whenever we blow something up. When we blow up the fourth container, some kind of deformed realian comes out. Oh, I remember these… from fourteen years ago… I convince KOS-MOS to let me switch with her, so I can try out my new armor for my A.G.W.S. WHOO HERE WE GO BEBEH.

Shion, chaos, and I transmit into our newly-equipped A.G.W.S, and it casts Engine Stop on us. Thankfully while I was shopping, I bought some Engine Shields! Shion thanks me as she uses her LM11VX lancer arms in a W-ACT attack. I use my GLG76AG gattling guns on it, and I bought chaos some AXE11AG hand axes. What? He's always with close contact with fighting, so I thought I'd equip his A.G.W.S. the same way! Either way, we defeat it, and I let them each use one of the Frame Repair Zs I bought for them that long, long, time ago, when I first went shopping with these… many different people.

Now, seeing that we did this for a door, and the fact that it's locked and numbered, we have to go all the way back to the half-circle place. Lame! We run all the way back across the shaft, and then we go out back down the ladder to level 2 in the half-circle place. Seeing that we've already been on level 2, I make a suggestion that we climb down to level 1. Of course, I get weird looks at me, but at least I suggest something. I leave the party again for KOS-MOS, and we go inside the chamber. Now, there's a button. And this one is SHINAY. So I press the button, and then the elevator goes whee all the way down to the bottom. Hurrah.

Since the path to the elevator is blocked off, we go around the room and shoot both cylinders. chaos thinks it may be some sort of mechanism. However, when we blow the both of them up, a Gnosis comes from the sky. IT'S FLYING, DAMMIT. This means that Shion and KOS-MOS have to both leave the party, and that I come into battle again. Hurrah! MOMO wants to get back in the action, so we let her. We're not sure of what she'll do, but we'll survive. We run toward it, and no cheesy battle cry this time. I'm pretty sick of ducks right now, thanks to Gaignun.

Well, MOMO transforms into Starwind or whatever the hell she screamed out, and then she does a move called Magic Caster. Hey, she got an accessory called Shield Armor, which I've never even heard of! Well, she's proud of it, so she's dancing and stuff. chaos uses his heavenly Angel Blow attack, jumping into the air and blowing chi onto the thing. MOMO clarifies that this specific Gnosis is called Rianon Se, but it's not like I actually care. She's just doing her observational realian job. As soon as her transformation wears off, she transforms into something else, yelling "Starlight!" I got that one, alright. She uses some ether attacks on it, called Star Bell and Star Bunnie. …Wow, she really is a child, isn't she? I get ready to perform my attack, Storm Waltz, when it suddenly drains me out of power! I fall to my knees, feeling pretty weak, when MOMO uses Life Shot on me and makes me feel good as new. I throw my coins in the air, as I was trying to do earlier, and yell "Storm Waltz!" as my bullets ricochet off of the coins and attack the Gnosis. YES. It looks like it lowered a bit, but maybe I'm just delusional. It counterattacks us with a spell, which slows us down a bit, so now we can't attack him as much. chaos does a move called Supreme Judgement, and I'm not sure what exactly it does. It attempts to drain chaos, but it doesn't do as much. He's still standing, but just in a bit of pain. I can see him flinching, and holding his chest a bit, so I throw him a Med Kit. He smiles, and the Rianon Se casts ether called Gigapure S, and it takes off his status problem. That entirely ticks off chaos, and MOMO uses Angel Arrow on it for some reason. Maybe she thought that it being a "heavenly" move would cheer him up. He uses Angel Blow on it again, and you can hear the guttural scream of the Gnosis dying. Take that, hoez.

MOMO leaves the party for KOS-MOS, so I'm still in the party. Hurrah! The gate opened right before we ran into the Gnosis, so we can go through. We leave through the gate, and we press the button on the console. Whoo. A bridge appears between this tower and another tower, so we cross the bridge. There's another console on the other side of the bridge, so me with my button pressing skills press the button, and an elevator rises. We can go back to the first tower now! Hurrah.

We go inside the new tower, and we walk around the hole in the floor. It's shaped like a triangle, yo. Maybe it's because this device is shaped like an upside down pyramid. Who knows. We walk into the next room, and then there's this… ugh! It's hideous! And it smells! OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS IT. "It's a… realian?" MOMO says. Whoa. Would have never thought of that. I shoot the purple container near us, and it showers the… thing with mist. We run as it's stunned, and we climb down the ladder. Whoo. We've escaped! We blow up some columns that were pretty random, and keep on walking down as we find another cylinder. Don't feel like blowing up this one.

We go back to the ladder and climb all the way down this time. And, there's another deformed realian there. This time, we choose to fight! chaos jumps in the air for another Artic Blast attack, and it quickly kills the realian, and it's kinda stuck in the snowball, too. Ew. We shoot down some more columns and segments from a bridge, 'cause we're evil, and it makes a path, filling the gap. We head down the stairs, and we end up on a balcony.

Lame! There's no other door on the balcony! We go back in the tower, and climb the adjacent ladder. If Shion complains one more time about how much her legs hurt, I'm gonna just have to blow her head off. We climb back down to the second level, that we pretty much destroyed earlier, and we go all the way to the end and blow up some more columns. This in turn brings a bridge down so we can cross the gap. We sure do like to blow up things, don't we? We cross the bridge and go all the way to the end before climbing up another ladder all the way to the top and killing another Byproduct.

When we finally get up there, with our bridge creating selves, I "accidentally" shoot some equipment which makes the bridge drop another floor. Whoopsies. Everyone stares at me, but I ignore them. "Why is it alright if chaos shoots something? YOU MEANIES." He giggles and KOS-MOS considers we jump. Jumping a whole floor. Wow. She must be crazier than hell. I look down at the new bridge, and Ziggy pushes me off, laughing. As I fall, I scream, "FUCK YOU OLD MAN!!!"

I land on my feet like a stealthy cat and raise my middle finger at Ziggy, who just laughs it off. I'm pretty sure I scared MOMO, but I don't care. I walk down to the door and blow it up before walking inside the entrance. I keep walking through the room before I feel someone's arms wrapped around me. It happens to be Shion, trying to stop me. I don't like her like that, yo. "Get the fuck off, yo. I'm not your property." She gets her arms off of me and apologizes. "Yeah, that's what I thought." I blow up the object on the ladder and climb all the way down to the bottom. I'm in no mood for any shit.

I blast away yet another column in the height of my anger and the bridge drops all the way down to where we are. Whoopie. I let Shion use Thermal Blast on the enemy in my way, and we just exit through the stairs after Ziggy analyzes that there's rubble in our way. NO SHIT MAN, WE BLEW UP THE SUPPORT. We find that it's a dead end and come back to see that the bridge is back. WHAT THE HELL, DUDE. Okay. We climb the middle ladder, and start vaporizing more sections of the bridge until it's on the second floor. I must be losing my mind. Anyway, so we cross the bridge, go down the ladder, and go through another door, and this room is SHINAY.

There are three giant columns filled with shiny color, and I wanna touch them, but chaos says I can't. Damn him. We go off into a small room, and it starts playing a song. The colors on the floor match the columns in the big room, so maybe they're connected. I try pulling out a tuning fork to see if they're in tune, and Ziggy pushes me away. Yeah, of course he's the musical one. He still listens to Beethoven and Mozart. So, he runs back in the room, and blows up a layer of a column, and he keeps doing it until they match the pitch of the other room. What a bright idea, Ziggy! I would have never thought of that. It takes an old man, doesn't it?

The matching noises unlock the barrier, so we can finally leave. We go outside the tower, and press the switch. It makes a bridge from this tower to the first tower. Hurray for triangles, yo. We go inside the door and go on the triangular elevator. I think it's funny that Joachim was all, "WHOOSH" and made everything triangular in a giant… triangle-pyramid. Nice. Another elevator has those three lights we saw earlier with the music-pitch shit, and it's between the bridge from this tower and the first tower. We get off of this elevator, and get on the next one. AND WE'RE GOIN DOWN DOWN IN AN EARLIER ROUND. SUGAR WE'RE GOIN DOWN SWINGIN.

We walk into the room, and there's Albedo! Damn that bastard! I hate how he just keeps talking and tormenting MOMO! I raise my gun to shoot at him, but I don't. He keeps teasing MOMO, trying to go into her subconscious. As I finally get aim, I'm choked by behind. "MOMO?"

"That's not MOMO." Ziggy says. Well duh, there aren't two MOMOs. It keeps choking me, and it triggers my pain, my sorrow, my anger… it just finally comes out in a wave of energy and it throws the realian off of me. I feel sort of sorry for it, but whatever. This time I shoot Albedo, and his head blows off. Of course, it regenerates. "Is that nanotechnology?"

"No. Not even the latest type Realians are equipped with head-regenerating capabilities yet." Shion is such a fucktard at times. I tried to shoot him again, but he retreated. He goes inside his A.G.W.S. Simeon, along with his favored Kirshwasser, and they prepare for battle. Damn him!

chaos, Shion, and I enter our A.G.W.S. and we're absolutely no match for Albedo. His mech is like, three times as big as ours. We have no choice but to guard and W-ACT it to death. When I guard, Albedo starts laughing like a maniac saying, "Come on…entertain me!" Like I really need to entertain that bastard! I W-ACT it with my gattling guns, and he gets really annoyed and casts slow on me. Thankfully, all I need to do is guard to rid myself of the ailment, and chaos W-ACTs it in my revenge. He does an AIRD attack on Shion, who was caught off guard and it totally hit her engine. Oh fuck. She does a counter-attack before W-ACTing it to oblivion. Good job, Shion! He escapes as a Gnosis comes in, how like him. Thank God we're still in our A.G.W.S.

It swoops in and attacks us, before we even have a chance to guard and protect ourselves. It keeps putting chaos to sleep, who is probably extremely tired. It gives Shion and me a chance to totally pwn him while he's distracted. I hate to feel like I'm using him, but he just happened to be in our new plan. And he was there in that situation. So, since this Gnosis is entirely stupid and keeps putting chaos to sleep, we kill it while it's still distracted. Whoo! THAT'S THE POWER OF DUCKS, BEBEH.

What the fuck, yo. IT TRANSFORMS. It can fly now, bebeh. Which means that chaos is worthless! Oh no. He'll have to get out of his mech! I just don't hope he dies. He transports out of his mech, and then the gnosis ironically decides to hit him with Confusion Arrows. He's not confused, but his side is bleeding. Oh shit. He uses a Healing Dew spell and heals himself, while Shion and I continue to W-ACT the enemy to its doom. Right when we thought it was where we wanted it, it uses an Anti-Veil effect. Oh shit, this could be really bad for chaos! I tell him to use a Veil, which he uses with haste right before the flying enemy uses a move called Flare Wing S. He falls on his ass from the impact, but he's alright overall. That's probably going to hurt in the morning. Shion does another W-ACT attack, which is followed by chaos doing Lunar Seal, and the gnosis falls to the ground, dying. HURRAH, ANOTHER WIN.

* * *

Ya'll, this took me a whole entire week to do. I hope you all like it. 

Mango


	7. Proto Merkabah

Xenosaga: I Like Ducks

Author's Note: Why hello there It's been an entire school year There hasn't been much time to work with this story, since it's very time consuming. I was actually re-reading it, and I noticed how incredibly long it was. This one will actually be longer, since this is the final chapter of the series.

Yes, I said FINAL. As in, last. So. I don't mean to like, burn your eyes out with lots of text, but it's just like Rubedo: wordy. And angry. And wants to go out with a big bang. SO REVIEW, PLZ. 33 I loves you all. Thanks.

Summary: They will now enter Proto Merkabah, in order to save the world. Well, Second Miltia, anyway.

Warning: Language! Because we all get angry when we can't sort things out, right? Right.

Disclaimer: I don't own Xenosaga or its characters; that's Namco.

Okay, so we've won. Now what? I yawn and give stretch a little inside my A.G.W.S. I can't wait to get out of this thing.

* * *

"It's useless. The laws by which we are governed are just too different. Isn't that right, Boss?" All of us look toward the sound. And what do you know? It's that weird guy in the blue that we ran into earlier! With Albedo! But it's not Albedo. Who…is he? And why does he keep calling Shion "Boss?" It's too confusing for me! I don't think she gets it either; she's just staring at him. "Well, I think our friend has left. And I have appointments to make, so I'll be on my…"

"Wait!" Shion yells, making the man turn. "What are you trying to accomplish? What are you…?" I swear, she can be so retarded. We could be looking death in the face, and she'd be the one to ask, "Death, why are you so deathy?" Some of the smartest people are also the people with no common sense. Why is that? "You wanna know?" the man asks; Shion nods. "Come to that place, in that time…you know what I mean." Her eyes grow huge, and she gasps. "What in the world are you--?" Well, he's gone. 'Cause she's always talking. And the universe is gonna blow up 'cause she just talks way too flippin' much. There is a time for talking, and now is not it. Really annoying.

I don't really like that guy. I don't understand why Shion continues to speak to him! "The Song of Nephilim ceases to function. The Rhine Maiden is eliminating the remaining Gnosis." KOS-MOS must have amazing sensors. That, or she's getting information from the headquarters. Something. I don't like them, either. Ugh. I just get a bad vibe from them all. "I see…all you alright, Jr.?" I raise a mental eyebrow at that, until MOMO brings something to my attention.

I'm shaking. I'm shaking like a malfunctioning realian. And my teeth are chattering. He's… he's…"Y-yeah, and guys? Who was that? He has an aura of incredible power…" That's not right. Someone shouldn't be that strong. Not at all…

"I don't know." Shion looks as frightened as I am. I'm so cold. I want to leave, now. "Let's go back, Shion," chaos whispers. She nods, and we leave out of this creepy place. I hate this place. I never want to come back here again. Ugh!

I walk to my bridge, the Durandal's bridge, with my head hung low. Shion and MOMO come a bit later, popping from the bridge. I stand next to my subordinates, Mary and Shelley, and raise my head when MOMO approaches me. "Are you okay?" I ask. I'm really worried about her. Damn Albedo! "Yes," she says, taking a deep breath. I wanna hug her really tight. I have to fight the urge. "That man…said he was looking for the key inside me… He probably…"

This is when I do something quite controversial. I silence her and raise my hand to her cheek. How could he harm something like her? I let my finger slowly slide across her cheek, from the corner of her lips to her ear. He shouldn't have done anything to her. "Don't worry. It's all right. It's not your fault." She nods and smiles. I love it when she smiles.

"Oh!" She shows me the pendant I gave her a long time ago. Well, it's not really a pendant. It's just a bullet shaped like a duck. "This charm! Maybe I have this to thank for my safe return." She smiles, and I smile with her. It's amazing, how significant that bullet is to her, and how it means nothing to me. I guess it really depends on how a person uses something to determine its worth. Hmm. As I stand near MOMO, analyzing the duck with her, Shelley's obviously pissed about something. Well, excuse me for being sentimental, and keeping up my promises! Goodness!

"Main cannon ready to fire. Target: Song of Nephilim." I know we have to blow it up, but like…the kirschwassers. And the ducks… How will they… "chaos, do you think this'll put the kirschwassers to rest?" A sigh from the psychic wonder, and puts his hand on my shoulder. "Yes. Their wish finally came true." My eyes grow loud, as I hear Shelley yell my name. "Go ahead." The Durandal's lasers penetrated the Song, and before we knew it, the structure was gone, along with the ducks, in a big smoke.

"Whoa, what the…!" I exclaim. The lasers totally reflected off the Song! The ducks are saved! But the Gnosis are still here! Grr. What the snap's happening, yo!

A transmission is forced into our monitor, and we hear an all-too familiar chuckle. No! Albedo! "I wanted to have more fun, so I came back." That bastard! I can't stand him! He's such a hobo! "Albedo! I swear I'm gonna…!" Ugh! I swear I oughtta just shoot him in the head a bajillion times. Who gave him the right to tell ME to calm down, huh?! If he just disappeared, I'd be calm, and we wouldn't be going through all this. So why doesn't he just leave?! Ugh! I swear I hate him.

Wait a minute, isn't that the… Proto Merkabah? What the hell is that doing here? I hear MOMO say something, and I raise an eyebrow at it. Did I just hear her mention ducks? "This…is where I was born…" oh. I must be hearing things. Wow, I knew my hearing was gonna go bad one of these days, but I didn't think it would be this soon! So, she was born here… wait. What?! She was born here? Did I hear that right? "Did you just say…this is where you were born?"

"Yeah. Daddy made it so he could gather materials to make me." …Well, what the fuck? The most amazing piece of science known to man, realian, and otherwise was created to make her. Why in the world would he make a weapon to make her, though? Nothing makes sense anymore! Argh! Why don't we just throw a giant duck in the equation, and make everything all better? Ugh! I finally understand the reason why everyone likes ducks!

And, oh my fucking gosh. IT DESTROYED THE ENTIRE FEDERATION FLEET. OH SHIT. OH SHIT. "And that was only using a fraction of its power! Do you like it, Rubedo?" Ugh. No, I don't. He's using it to destroy the universe! Otherwise, I'd probably think it was kickass. "A long time ago, this thing, the Song, and the Zohar were one giant thing." Oh, well aren't YOU descriptive. I wish he would try to use some more adjectives, or something. Otherwise, nothing would make any sense. "…and that's how it stores the energy needed to operate this thing." …

"For the love of Yeshua, would you stop using 'THING'?! Use a more descriptive word!" I'm like, fuming mad right now; I wouldn't be surprised if steam blew from my ears. "Also, how the hell did you learn all this?"

"Oh, just ma peche." chaos, the psychic wonder, puts his arms on her shoulders. …Wait, since when did he walk up here? WEIRD. I did not see that a comin'! Everyone keeps sneaking up on me today! Would everyone just stop it? "I'm really quite grateful. But anyway, what should I lazer first? Well, of course it has to charge, but that shouldn't take long, right? Like maybe five minutes or so…" a chuckle from him really annoys the shit out of me. "Hm. Maybe I should turn you guys into salt! That'd be fun, huh? And the red shall turn to white…"

"Don't mock us, bastard! Your battle is not with them!" I groan and point my finger. He laughs like a maniac, and the next thing I know, all the alerts are bleepin' like crazy! "Little Master, it's going straight for Second Miltia!"

…fuck. Second Miltia? Why there? "You stay right there, Albedo! It's time for us to settle this!" Another chuckle out of him, and I swear he winks at me. "That's not like you at all, Rubedo. You don't really give a damn about others."

"Whaaaaaaaaaa?" I ask? I do too! Since when have I not cared about others? I am a very caring person, after all! "Well, then, fine! Catch me if you can!" …I don't get it. I'm confused now. "Damn you!" After Albedo fades out, Juli fades in, not really making the conversation any better. She has the worst time, like, ever. Thankfully, she's straight to the point. Just like a good Representative. "So, uh, all we have to do is take out the reactor, right?" Um, that probably didn't need to be said, but I just have to like, establish that. Gotta get that certified.

"Right, and I've already sent maps that will lead you to the core. Remember, you're our only hope. I ask you on behalf of all the…" Okay, okay, I get the point, Juli! Destroy the damn thing. "Mommy…" MOMO says, but then Juli hangs up on her. Well, damn. Juli's a shitty mother. I mean, I know I had a shitty father, but…DAMN. She could have been a little nicer about that.

"Well, uh, we're ready to go when you want!" Mathews is such a nice guy. Amazing. It must be 'cause I'm here. He's being too nice for his own good. Maybe I should give him a raise…nah. He doesn't deserve it.

Soo, uh. We're ready to go. Shit. Didn't think it'd be so soon. This could be it. Like, the end. And that would suck. Like srsly. I should go find Shion, so I can apologize. I didn't mean to drag everyone in my family issues! I really mean it! Albedo's a quack; he does everything to be seen. I run off the Durandal and go on the Elsa, searching the café and the cabins. At last I find her in the bridge, standing next to Mathews and shaking her head. "Shion, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to drag you into my family issues."

A chuckle from Shion startles me. She must have nerves of steel or something. "No problem. After all, my homeland is in peril. And we've received company approval." Poor Allen. He's just shakin'. He's a nervous wreck, and Shion's just gonna keep pushin' him 'til he goes in shock. But that's one hell of a company, yo.

"So, gettin' in won't be a problem, right?" Mathews asks MOMO, and she nods. "Right! There should be no external anti-air defenses, since was originally structured as a manufacturing facility. However, security on the inside is most likely still functional. We should be prepared to deal with any active guard machines." As she explains this to Captain, I dial in the coordinates to the Durandal, and establish a connection with the bridge. No doubt we'll need my ship for backup. "Mary! What about the reinforcements from Second Miltia?"

"They all got destroyed in the first blast, sir." Oh, dammit! That ruins my entire plan. "So, in other words, it's all up to us." Gaignun's blabbing some stuff to me, and I 'yeah, sure' it. It's all probably some speech on how I shouldn't let my emotions get the best of me. It's not like I'm totally moody or anything! It's just that…he brings out something in me that no one else does

"You're ready to go, Little Master," Shelley says solemnly. She looks so tense, and I know Mary's really doing her best to calm her down. What a good relationship they have. I kinda wish I had that with Albedo. But, it's too late now. "Alright then, let's go!"

* * *

Pretty woman, walkin' down the street. Pretty woman, the type I'd like to meet… Yeah, so we're walkin' down this conveyer belt, and we run into a couple of work droids. No problem, though, 'cause they're just some robots. We can X-BUSTER them to their doom. And of course, who doesn't like to X-BUSTER and Mystic Nocturne everything? 'CAUSE I SURE LIKE KILLIN' PEOPLE WITH BUNCH OF BULLETS IN THE AIR. 33

'Kay, so after leaving the warehouse, we go on the walkway/escalator thing, and move on up. There's a bunch of like, work droids in this area, so I ninja behind the boxes for protection. Man, I wish the robots didn't wake up with this thing! Why couldn't they all have fallen out of the windows, like the ducks did? Ugh! Stupid droids. Just when we don't need them, they're here. Just like certain people.

chaos thumps me on the back of the head, and I groan. I forgot he had that mind readin' ability. "Dude, I wasn't thinking about you!" I exclaim. he chuckles, and shushes me. "There're still robots about." I nod, and hide from one box, to the next, to the next, and run behind the droid before he catches me. Whoo.

We run to the alcove, and notice a console. Well, isn't that handy. A shiny yellow button. It's not red like all the other ones; it's YELLOW. I give MOMO the honor of pressing the button, and she does, and it raises the bridge no. 2. We skip over to the other side, and press that yellow button, which raises…no. 1, we think. We're pretty skiptacular, seeing that there aren't droids where the buttons are. I run up to the next alcove, and take the walkway up to the elevator.

Gawd, this elevator is long. It keeps goin' up, and up, and up. Shion chews on some gum to relieve the popping in her ears, and Ziggy yawns loud enough to block it out. I start fallin' asleep on chaos, who doesn't appreciate much, and pushes me off. I guess he likes leanin' on KOS-MOS, who's as solitary as ever. And I just hug MOMO, then, who's holding her ears, trying to block out the sound. She's a really sensitive Realian, you know.

Finally! We're off the darn thing. At level…41? Holy crap! It's probably an understatement to say that we've been there "a while." We've probably been in there for weeks, months…maybe even a year Jeebus! Well, maybe not. I'm still wearing the same clothes that I was wearing…

"We've only been in here thirty minutes, Rubedo," KOS-MOS states, and exits off the elevator. Oh. Well. Excuse me, all my elevators go twice as fast as this one! Joachim really needed to make better elevators. These are about the same speed as Lost Jerusalem. What's this guy's problem?

So, we all follow KOS-MOS off of the elevator, and go into the laboratory. Maybe this'll show us more about why the Merkabah was created. "It looks like some kind of data," chaos says, approaching the monitor. Uh, no duh, smart one. It's a monitor with words on it!

"A Realian? But it's pretty old. The year T.C. 4474 made by Tyrrell, Lamech Model 3." Shion's pretty smart at these types of things. Maybe it's because she used to look at the Realians on her old ship. Hm. But hey, isn't that like, around the time of the Miltian Conflict? Maybe this was around during the Conflict, or has something to do with it.

"The production manufacturer and year all differ, but they are all older than 4752." Ziggy and Shion start clicking on stuff on the monitor, and Shion starts to interrogate MOMO. "Hey, MOMO, did Dr. Mizrahi ever tell you anything?"

"Not at all, Shion…" MOMO shakes her head slowly, and starts to walk off toward the other end of the room. "Are you sure?" Oh my gawd, Shion, leave the child alone. I'm sure she feels bad enough as it is, being built in this facility.

And so we go out, and kill some…Gnosis, before going up the stairs to level 42. It looks exactly like the first one! We run into a nearby door, and find another holograph. Amazing.

"This one's a list of sick and wounded soldiers. Looks like it's during the Miltian Conflict, too." chaos sighs, and I raise an eyebrow. I guess this had a lot of bad memories for him, too. Well, it did for everyone, but still. "They were transferred to Miltia for treatment, just like those Realians. What a coincidence."

"Those don't look like ordinary wounds. They're only fragments of the data left, but it looks like something more serious, like mental illness." Wow! She can tell from just that? Amazing! "You can tell all that from just these fragments? Cool." She sighs and shakes her head, kinda like she's chastising me. "Yes. The list of medications here are all those used to treat psychological disorders." Well, I guess she is pretty smart after all, huh? "Then there's no wonder you're a chief engineer at Vector." She gives me a glare and there's a moment of silence going on. What? I didn't do anything wrong, did I? Ugh, I hate it when people do this! "What? Did I do something wrong?" She shakes her head. "No, it's nothing." And more silence. Ugh! What's up with everything?

I exit that room, and run into some new Gnosis. KOS-MOS calls them Demons, but I don't care what they're called. They're goin' down! And so, I kill a couple of those, and go to the portside of the room, which leads to level 43. Did you know that Level 44 is just the other side of the other levels? It's amazing. It's like, the axis of this place! Kinda cool. So. We press the button by the door, and it lets us go back to the last holograph room. Kinda cool, dude. Kinda cool.

I run back down the stairs to level 42 (the other side of level 42, mind you) and disassemble a few more Work Droids. Gosh, I bet this place is just crawlin' with 'em. So, we go down, and press the button. That unlocks somethin' on level 44. So we run back up there, and go to a new area.

These droids are huge! I mean like, mega huge. Like, A.G.W.S. huge. I let Ziggy start to fight, and he comes out with this huge scythe and screams "Executioner!" slashin' that thing to bits. Amazing! I guess he just learned that. I've never seen that before. After we kill all the mega droids, we make it to the end of the catwalk. Well, I never knew this would lead down. There's nowhere else to go but down. So, uh, who's goin' down first?

I look at Shion, who shakes her head. "Not me," she states, and starts walking backwards slowly, bumping into chaos. "Same here," he states, and runs backwards too. "Ziggy, why don't you go first?" someone suggests, and he shrugs. "It doesn't matter to me." As he starts to walk toward the edge, something blue swooshes past us. And the next thing we know, we can hear KOS-MOS' shoes on the bottom. Well, I guess she's the first. We all jump after her, because, we can't let anything happen to her!

Whoa! There's a TRANSFORMER, dudes! That thing is super huge! It's like a tricked out Deceptacon. Maybe it's like Megatron after he got destroyed, and Joachim tried to fix him! Yeah, that's what it is! I get dragged off the platform by Ziggy, leaving Shion, KOS-MOS, and chaos to fight the mega transformer thing! Wow, I hope they can do it!

KOS-MOS goes like, crazy with X-BUSTER, and Shion goes all Rain Blade on it. chaos sits there on his heiney and like, heals people with his dew o'doom, and I think they're not really payin' attention to the Megatron. It's got like an Ether Shield up, and none of their attacks are doing shit. It's pretty sad. I stand up to yell at them, and MOMO lightly tugs at my coat. "Maybe they're trying to kill the subordinates," she says quietly. Wow. I didn't think of that. I would think if you killed the lead Deceptacon, the others would just ignore you and like commit suicide or somethin'. Oh well.

After about ten X-BUSTERS and even more Rain Blades, with an occasional Artic Blast, the other Deceptacons die, and like, Megatron starts talkin' bout "Energy recharge!" which totally supports my idea that they should have killed it first. Allen rolls his eyes at me, and I elbow him in the gut. "Ow!" he says, "That hurts." I get a chuckle out of the old man, and we continue watching the action packed movie. It's like Transformers without like, Optimus Prime! Amazing! So, chaos does some funky move called "Supreme Judgement," and I don't know what the hell it does, but it sure alters the ability of the transformer to heal. Hm. After that, everyone starts like Boosting one after the other, with all their really good attacks! And then the next thing I know, it starts short circuitin', and I hear chaos scream, "Run!" and I just start running. And it goes BOOM! and Shion just about loses her hearing. Allen can't hear anything at all. "Haha, that was flashy" I say, trying to lighten the mood. Well, these folks are a tough crowd. Goodness.

Um. So we keep walkin', and kill some more droids. I'm really startin' to hate robots now. They're just aggravating. Goin' across the bridge, we try to amuse ourselves. "So, what do you do when you're squattin' without a turkey?" Everyone stares at chaos, and his odd joke. No one's getting it. "You're ducking! You know, like a turducken, but without the turkey, it's just a ducken, so you're ducking…Ha. Ha. Ha." His laughter is cut off by KOS-MOS's cold glare. Ohh. Treated. He stays quiet as we go inside the next room. Going onto the gantry, someone inhales, ready to start another conversation.

"What an amazing hologram." It looks like all of space…except for a giant gap. "It looks kinda like a black hole." I shake my head, and poke at it. "Guess it's not all of observable space, then." chaos states something about Lost Jerusalem, which Shion totally blanks out on. And we thought she knew everything. "What?"

"Lost Jerusalem was once our homeland in the distant past, but no one can go near it now. Actually, nobody knows its location anymore. It could be that pitch black part right there." Amazing! No one else thought of that. And of course, I gotta put my two cents in that, 'cause I actually know something more than Shion. Yes! "I heard that the government has been working on a project to find Lost Jerusalem for quite some time. …It looks like the radius of that black region is at least several million light years." Shion sighs, and shakes her head. This is really bewildering her! "Our homeland is somewhere out there…"

As we go toward the ladder, I realize that there's something obstructing the path, and so I totally blow it up. Well, like, we gotta get down there, don't we? So, I jump down the ladder and walk through a near door. Sadly, we get bum-rushed by some more Gnosis, which KOS-MOS calls Armaros, and I have to like, unload an clip on it I can kill it. Damnz. After we get around that, I go in the doorway up north. This isn't good. At all.

"This…is the room where I was born." Well holy shit, would you look at that? Shion's just as surprised as I am! Well, this is gonna be bad.

Oh god. MOMO thinks she's an abomination. And she's not! I don't know how I'm gonna prove it, but she's not! I mean, like, I'll find a way! Even if I have to use Shion. "No! No parent could ever say that. Even though you're a Realian, you're still their child, right? No parent would ever think of their child as an abomination." Wow. That was kinda deep. Maternal instincts are kickin' in.

We get quiet after that, and continue walking. We go down the stairs and ride down the elevator. When we finally get off, we head to the left, and press the big red button, making the cargo elevator work. This, I can tell, is gonna be a real bitch. It's not gonna be that easy gettin' down the stairs. There's gonna a shitload of Gnosis, and we're probably gonna run into someone. Like. Like. ALBEDO. Damn him! I get aggravated when I even think about it.

We go down about twenty feet before running into a Gnosis. It took a while for it to die, and it kinda beat the shit out of Shion. There were a couple of times I had to do a Medica ether on her, but otherwise, I think we did okay. And then another one came after us. And another. And another! Like where in the universe does he get these darn things? Are they in like a little box he carries around, and throws at us? Gosh darn it! I think there was a time where I threw my gun at them. I can't stand these darn Gnosis. And I bet you somewhere out there, there's like a giant box of Gnosis where you can just pick one up and throw it at somebody. And you better believe one day I'm gonna do that somebody. SERIOUSLY.

"You're late! I was about to give up on you, Rubedo. Take a good look. This thing's got a full belly already." Grr, Albedo! He swiftly jumps down in front of me and Shion, and I let out an audible growl. "Well then, what shall we do? Shall we continue where we left off?" He lets out…some sort of energy, and it looks amazing! But what in the world is it? "Wh-what is that? Are you…how exactly are you doing that?" I tilt my head to the side, trying to analyze it. I guess I'm still pretty observational at things pertaining to him.

"Don't be so surprised; this is the power of will, a fundamental power that exists within everyone. What you are witnessing is simply your perception of it. And you know what? Perception and pain are but one and the same. So…go ahead…feel my pain for yourself!"

I think I somehow end up charging toward Albedo. But I don't even know anything anymore. I really don't. Just…everything's a blur. But like, I can feel his demonic gaze on me, just sucking the life out of me. And that _really_ aggravates me. Shion does a Quick on me, and I do a couple of Storm Waltz, one after another. I think I scare Shion, 'cause she like, backs up and resorts to healing. KOS-MOS decided to R-BLADE him, slicing his cape into a thousand pieces, and combined, we kill off him. Or something of the type. He tries to escape, and I run toward him.

"Answer me! Why are you doing this? There's absolutely nothing you can hope to get out of this." I swear I wanna just tug him by the jacket, and ask him what the fuck he's doing. He's such a retard at times! "Au contraire. I…am doing all this…for your sake, Rubedo."

Oh, no you don't. Blaming the destruction of the universe on me? "For…my sake?" He gives a small chuckle as I asked that. What's so funny, dood? "Have you forgotten, Rubedo? That fateful day, fourteen years ago… Have you forgotten what you did to us?" A tear threatens to fall out my eye, and I blink it back. I have to be strong! "It's all because of you… Because you closed yourself off from us, our mental link was broken, and one after another, we succumbed to the power of the Song. Left behind in that horror, did we have any choice but to submit to it? Remember what happened…and repent for your sins!"

But…but…I didn't mean it! I mean. U-DO, and it was coming after us, and…I saw things that were to come. I had to do it! "It's true…I…I mean…" He laughs in my face, and I turn my head in shame. "So you finally admit it, you coward!" I yank my head up, and stare him in the face. How dare he call me a coward! "Alright, damn it! I couldn't control my fear!"

"Yes! And therefore, you must atone for your sins, atone for your life! I am the executor for all those who were destroyed! Although… I'm actually quite grateful to you, Rubedo. Thanks to you, I alone was able to find the way… The way to a whole new world." What the hell? It's like some Aladdin. Is he gonna break out into like, a Disney musical? "What do you mean, a whole new world?" He cackles again, and starts acting like whatever the hell he's saying makes sense. "That's all I seek… It's quite simple, don't you think?" I shrug, and scream at him, "What in the hell are you talking about?" Before I can grab him, however, he jumps to the top of the reactor. He's got some mad jumping skills.

"At first I wasn't sure if I should believe… But I experienced something a moment ago that confirmed it… And this ought to verify that experience for me!" And now here goes that fit of laughter where he has an asthma attack. I'm serious! It's like a wheeze and everything. So I suppose he doesn't have a giggle button, then. Damn. "Entertain me, if you will!" he says, as he catches his breath. And suddenly has a glass of water. Amazing. Where in the hell did he get that from?

And where the hell did he get THAT. "Damn…you fused the Gnosis with the reactor?" Well, holy shit. Maybe he is kinda smart. But dude! Where in the hell does he get all these freakin' Gnosis? "You must first destroy this in order to stop Proto Merkabah. You do realize that… Oh, almost forgot the time! Hmm, not much left now… I'd say five minutes, at best. I wonder how far you'll get in that current condition." And damn, there goes that horrible laughter. There must be a giggle button! There must!

"He's so cruel… He's tormenting Jr. just for fun…" MOMO sighs, but she gets cut off before she says something else. "Farewell. I'm sure we'll meet again, if you survive… Rubedo, my other half…" No! He can't leave! "Albedo!"

And, I almost got smacked in the face with a Gnosis. Whoops. "Be careful, everyone! That's no longer just a machine!" Well, thank you for the obvious information. I went face-to-face with the damn thing; I would know it's not a reactor. You can be so slow!

We run up toward it, and I can honestly say Shion pulls out the big guns. WE HAVE AN OPTIMUS PRIME, FOLKS. How did Shion pull that off? Since when did we build Optimus? We could have used him again Megatron earlier and it would have been like an epic, intergalactic fight between robots! It would have been amazing! Dood, that's lame. But I have to admit, Optimus having a sword and slicing our boss in half is pretty cool!

So, then this Gnosis starts bein' really ugly to us, 'cause we like killed him. Well, we didn't, but it has to be close to being ded. So, then, like, it uses this move called Dark Omen, and Shion has to like, heal us incredibly, because I get knocked down to my knees, and I can barely stand as I try to do Moonlit Serenade. I trade places with chaos, who's been watching, and he uses this incredible move called Divine Spear. I don't really remember what it looks like, 'cause I must have blacked out or something. When I woke up again, the thing was exploding.

"We'll be caught in the explosion! We have to get out of here quickly!" We're running, and running, and then Shion falls. Damn it. "What was that?" Ziggy says, and chaos gives an answer. "It's faint, but it seems like we're changing directions." Oh, well that's great. We're probably gonna all crash into Second Miltia. "We will be entering their atmosphere in approximately eight minutes." Oh, shit. We're all gonna die! They're gonna die! What are we gonna do?!

"Wait a minute. I'm searching my memory banks!" MOMO looks like, in an off type of state, but then her eyes' color comes back, and she looks like her. "The control room on level 33 will let us detach the facility!" chaos' eyes shine, and he starts running. "Come, there's no time to waste!"

So it takes us about, I don't know, three minutes to go up fifteen flights of stairs. I say that's pretty good! "Oh no!" MOMO states. Oh god. What's up now?

"The entire process takes one whole minute. There's not enough time for us to get to the Elsa!" Well. Well. What the fuck? And the way Joachim's arranged it, we can't get around that. "Damn! So the only way to stop this thing is to go down with it?" That's gotta be the only way, but shit. That sucks. We're all gonna die trying to save the world. It's like Heroes gone bad, dude! Like everyone died trying to save the Cheerleader. Lame!

"Please head back now." …No way! KOS-MOS? But why? "This facility will enter the atmosphere shortly. We will exceed the tolerances for maximum temperature in three minutes twenty eight seconds. Please hurry." But…but…dude! "My self-preservation programming is functioning properly. I have no intentions of remaining on the ship until the very end. Do not worry. At maximum speed, I can reach the Elsa under one minute."

Oh, shit. I feel so bad for her. I know Shion feels it too, but we have to go. She's faster than us. "She knows what she's talking about! Let's go!" We run toward the dock (much faster than I thought possible, might I add), and jump toward it. Stuff starts breakin' down, and everyone starts jumping for the Elsa. When I make it on board, I keep running. All the way to the bridge.

"Mathews!" I yell at him, "We're headin' for Second Miltia. We're gonna run into the atmosphere!" He starts freakin' out, and sweatin' like a pig. Well, dude. I've encountered worse things than him and I'm not breakin' out in a sweat. Weirdo. "Prepare for immediate liftoff!"

"Prepare? We're not leaving right now?" He twists his hat and looks at me all funny. "What's wrong with you? If we're detaching, aren't we in trouble?" I glare at him, and smack him in the back of the head. "KOS-MOS is still back there! And besides, if I say wait, then we wait!"

By this time, debris fallin' all on us. Shit. The Elsa can't handle that much. Tony's screamin' at me to leave, and as much as this'll kill Shion we have to. "Alright, alright, alright! Lift off!" We hear a thump, and we just kinda assume that's Shion, falling back into the ship. "What are you doing? She's still in there!" He's yelling, she's yelling, everyone's yelling. Damn it! And then all of a sudden, she gets quiet. Kinda weird.

And then, there's more stuff happening. "Look, 400 meters to the port side!" Shion screams, and Tony looks. "It's KOS-MOS!" And I swear, she screamed so loud and happy, it could have been mistaken for an orgasm. No lie, folks, no lie. Ziggy ran after her as she went toward the door, apparently trying to pull KOS-MOS in. Amazing.

Okay, now everything goes haywire. Stuff starts flashin', and goin' crazy! Like, we must be on fire now! And then KOS-MOS runs off, and I don't even know where in the world chaos is, and everyone's just spazzin', and then the next thing I know, KOS-MOS is out on the side of the ship, and she just saved us freakin' all! Amazing! I bet you psychic glove man had somethin' to do with it too! He just had to.

Now this…this deserves a beer. I run down to the bar, along with everyone else, and chaos and KOS-MOS walk in together. We're all cheering and such, and KOS-MOS says dramatically, "Mission accomplished, Shion." And what a hell of a mission that was.

* * *

yes. done. review like yay. this took two entire weeks. wow.


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